howidiotic:

pls don’t expect me not to wear the same jeans every day bc that is unrealistic and unfair

"your full name without an E,F,R,S,K,I,M,L,C,A,Y,N"

coalgirls:

it dont even feel like september it dont even feel like any month we just floatin thru time

upgraders:

It’s weird that pirates would go from shore to shore looking for buried treasure when the real treasure was in the friendships they were making

  • person: i love game of thrones!
  • me: oh awesome me too
  • person: i hate sansa though she's so stu-
  • me: bye
how i’m about to spend the rest of my life, folks

how i’m about to spend the rest of my life, folks

there is an alternate universe where that emily is not lactose intolerant 

i sincerely hope that emily is happy and just eats dairy products constantly

hey everybody here i am right now i got pants on i’m going downtown

"There are no bargains between lions and men. I will kill you and eat you raw."
Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles. (via mashamorevna)
  • sext: buy me kirsten gillibrand's new book
sorry, my mom said my anaconda can’t

wolfpupy:

i feel like i wrote more of these and also that i should have written less